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How to Ask Someone On a Date: According to +15 Experts

Man and woman talking together in front of a fireplace.
What's the best way to ask a new person on a date?

You’ve crossed paths with someone who has captured your attention:

  1. Every time they come near, you feel butterflies.

  2. It seems you can easily identify them in a crowd.

  3. Somehow, your eyes always gravitate in their direction.

  4. Thoughts of them always seem to float through.

  5. Keeping eye contact with them while speaking makes you nervous.

Keep in mind that going on a date allows both of you to get to know each other better by spending time together and sharing an activity or a meal. It’s an opportunity to focus your attention on each other.

The act of asking someone on a date signals romantic interest. Your attention and interest likely flatter them but may make them feel a bit anxious, too. Keep this in mind as you plan the date. You will want to convey that your time together will be relaxed, enjoyable, and safe.

Consider your prospective date's interests, schedule and preferences. Thoughtfully considering them will enhance your appeal and make them feel special.

Your date’s comfort should be of utmost importance

Paradoxically, while you will want to impress your date, if you do too much, spend too much, or if the first date is too extravagant, it may make them feel uncomfortable, and your date’s comfort should be of utmost importance.

You might, instead, propose a date that seems to suit your date’s lifestyle, personality, and style.

Make it sound safe to be with you

Tending to the details and logistics of the date—the specifics of where, when, and what to expect—is yet another way to communicate they will be safe with you.

By taking great care in the planning and invitation, you are showing your love interest that it’s safe to move toward you for greater intimacy and—a second date!



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