Couples that offer frequent reassurances to one another develop a more robust, more secure, and dependable relationship.
Too many couples interact with one another in ways that resemble roommates or household co-managers. Their conversations too often have a matter-of-fact tone and involve a flat information exchange. There is no noticeable difference in exchanging with a neighbor or colleague. Sometimes, there is no eye contact or face one another. The tone and tenor of exchanges lack warmth, caring, and sensitivity, even without ill will.
Roommates or Romantic Partners?
This way of relating lacks sentiment, warmth, caring, sensitivity, and awareness of your spouse or partner’s feelings. Couples that tune into each other’s inner worlds and emotional states feel connected, loved, supported, and respected. Couples often lose sight of the fact that they are romantic partners. The critical difference is that partners reassure each other about two things.
That their spouse or partner loves them without question.
That their spouse or partner desires them, finding them both attractive and sexually appealing.
Partners must reassure each other of their love and desire with more frequency than most realize. Increasing emotional and physical exchanges can achieve this.
An Example of Loving Reassurance
A person in a romantic relationship needs time to themselves. If they declare they need space without additional clarification, their partner may feel rejected or hurt and wonder: Did I do something wrong? Are they mad at me? Why do they not want me? Why are they pulling away from me?
Even though the communication was technically accurate, it lacked understanding or consideration for the partner, who may have felt hurt and rejected.
Adding loving reassurance to the request might sound as simple as this: I’m dealing with work stuff and I need an hour alone. When I’m done, let’s curl up on the sofa together and finish that movie.
Providing specific details about the duration of your absence and expressing excitement to reunite and cuddle with them upon your return is deeply reassuring! Doing this removes ambiguity and comforts your partner.
In this manner, the partner can find solace, knowing their partner is not upset with them. Adding those few clarifiers and saying more intimate and personal eased their partner’s worries and brought comfort.
The example was an instance of verbal communication used for reassurance. The idea is to offer soothing comfort to your partner, conveying love, respect, and care, which can be reassuring.
Ways to Reassure
Eye contact — give your spouse or partner your eyes! Eye contact is bonding.
Touch — reach out and touch one another throughout the day
Proximity — watching your favorite show together? Get close. Snuggle up on the sofa.
Respond — acknowledge one’s partner when they speak, enter a room, and need you.
The Positive Outcome
Reassurance can calm a doubt, allay a worry, and convey to your partner that their feelings and experiences matter to you. It tells your partner that they are your most precious person. It communicates to your partner that they are in your thoughts and that you are aware and sensitive to their feelings.
Spouses and partners need frequent reassurance that their spouse or partner sees them, hears them, understands them, and that they matter. Reassurance accomplishes this.
The Benefits of Loving Reassurance
Feeling closer and more connected reaffirms your love for your spouse or partner. It nurtures a secure connection. And it makes your relationship more reliable.
Offering your partner frequent acts of loving reassurance helps increase the likelihood that you will respond in kind. When this occurs, it’s good for you and your relationship.
If you are in a relationship that seems to lack loving reassurance that comforts and soothes, consider adding reassuring words and actions that make your spouse or partner feel appreciated and meaningful to you. Doing so benefits your partner or spouse, stabilizes the relationship, and makes it more reliable.